Another Shot of Surreal Abstractions, Please

Reality Check Numero UNO

If I had a time machine it would be silly of me not to travel back to March the 22nd 1998 and tell my mom to take Methotrexate. Of course, that’s not gonna be possible with today’s shitty technology. I feel like Kepler in the 17th century, I kinda get why planets move in elliptical orbits but I can’t seem to know how to come up with viable mathematical bullshit to explain it (AKA calculus). I digress, Fuck this timeline man, Seriously, 2024. We’ve got retards harvesting collective attention in exchange for magic green papers that allows them to feel good about themselves (Yeah I’m not sure that’s better than dwelling on your own miserable existence alone in your room). We have wars (not that i give a shit about that). We have propaganda everywhere, The godamn globalists want to blend everything together like a giant intercontinental cultural smoothie. Sometimes when I’m bored I picture myself as this fucking tiny organic lump of, well, organic matter, on this gas covered ball spinning around a gravitationaly contained G2V fusion reactor that, itself, is a speck of dust in the universe. As you can guess, i’m not great at parties, but you’d be wrong, I’m fantastic at parties. I’m not intoxicated writing this i swear, but i fully understand why G.Pearlman walks around with an unshaved beard and warn out clothes in St.Petersberg after saying FUCK YOU to the commitee that wanted to give him the fields medal and 1 million dollars. He’s kinda odd, even by my odd standards, but, i get why he thinks like he does. You can scroll social media now, and find a super short attention-destrying video of a cute cat being fed gourmet Wagyu beef, and when you’re done watching it, another super short attention destrying video of a kid collecting his mother’s parts in a plastic bag appears. It’s safe to assume either i did beat the algorithm or that I’m no longer fit to live in this world and that it’s my time go full ‘into the wild’ style away from any human contact for the foreseable future.

Surrealism But In The Real World

Many people reading my shit think i’m lost or sick or going batshit crazy. Well, maybe i am. But in true honesty, and in the words of Walter White i’d respond by saying that “I am awake”. I wish i was lost in life. Rather, what my limbic system feels these days is a bunch of ambigious signals of up and down rollercoster/stock martket style ‘feelings’ of confusion. I’m frankly amazed at how humans got this far without blowing each other to nothingess, I mean, even at the local micro-social settings, people always behave as though they’re in a post-apocalyptic low resources kinda of world, each one wants more for themselves and less for the others. I understand the biology of that, but, (Assuming humans are as smart as they percieve themselves to be), we should be an aspiring, potentially; ‘star-reaching’ species. Not goofy morons with a propencity for getting offended by each other’s traditions, folklore, appearances and beliefs, and especially not by the imaginary squigly lines drawn by incompetent, control freaks and notorious bureaucrats as the limits of where one might or might not go. We fucking invented money, we were hunters and gatherers, then some day, someone thought it’s useful to scam people by building a bank and presenting the concept of interest and tethering fake value to paper.

Why I Understand Why People Become Alcoholics

Personally, i prefer the medical shit, like horse tranquilizers to calm myself down whenever my mind goes into an internal loop of rage about things i can’t control. Getting drugs prescribed feels more authoritative and legitimate. The stoics will tell you “Don’t worry about things you can’t control kid” right after they’ve ingested enough red wine to make one think they’re a desert dwelling camel with a inkling to look and be indifferent. After all, what does a drunk camel have to worry about?

Meet My Imaginary Enemy, “eggy”

Eggy likes to play loud rai music and tiktoks on his phone when in public transport. He lived most of his life, (and when i say ‘most’ i mean ‘all’) on auto-pilot. He sees the world from a uni-dimensional perspective, the galaxies revolve around him. He bounces back and forth between two states “feels good man” when he’s on some substance, and “grumpy face” when his Lyrica stash runs out. Eggy likes extremely simple scams, where he can skim money off of people to buy himself things he doesn’t even understand why he bothers to like in the first place. Eggy isn’t gay by any means, but he is in a typical ‘relationship’, because, well, everyone is, aren’t they? Sort of like when someone in an exam starts using a ruler and the guys who don’t get why he’s using a ruler get confused and start doing random shit with their ruler as well so as to not look stupid. I hate Eggy because I envy him actually. He’s a simple guy, He never had a moment of fragmented consciousness, His default go to song is anything new in the Youtube RAI 2024 section. Eggy thinks any other genre of music is gay. He also thinks that the Coca Cola company conspired against the muslim world. Eggy doesn’t work, he has never heard of the word ‘goal’. He drifts around with each day like cowboys used to do back in time. But he doesn’t do it for the excitement of the unexpected. He does it, simply because, he’s a simpleton. Eggy’s brain structure allows him to transcend existentialism, he beats the collective efforts of all the existential philosophers with his simple ‘smirk’. Surprisingly, Eggy’s life is not in complete shambles according to him, because he never even bothers to ask himself that question. He watches his favorite local football club play, and when they lose, he simply goes full caveman on the poor opponent’s players and the referee. Because everything in existence revolves around Eggy according to Eggy, he interprets everything as a personal threat, insult …etc Which explains why he’s predisposed to Schizophrenia given the right enviromental factors. Eggy thinks he belongs in better country. He wants to be a avid WestHam Fan and watch their games live in Wembley. If he was born in Texas, he would’ve been programmed to like the local American football, If he was born in India, He definetly would love to watch Cricket. Eggy has no sense of individual self, because he never observed himself from the outside. How could he? Eggy is a simple man. Eggy is the type of guy to tell you that you gained a lot of weight when you’re going through a 90 day fasting routine with no pretext or humour. He does it because it’s written in his brain to say so, He has completely disconnected his senses from the inner ’environment influnced’ parts of his brain. He’s worst than a robot, because even robots use sensors and inputs to give out an output. Eggy however, does not. I wish i was Eggy.