Graviton : Sleepy Jokes

“It’s very late honey, aren’t you coming to bed?”
“In a minute honey, don’t worry, I’m almost done”
“You said those same words 4 hours ago”
“I know, I know. You married an obsessive man, that’s what happens when you make foolish choices dear” he replied
Anna was used to her husband’s borderline and outright offensive sense of humour, after years of being together, naturally, like an immune system develops ways to fight germs. She discovered that being borderline offensive and absurd was the only way to embrace Jonathan’s corrosive spells.

She quietly and slowly said in her slow sleepy voice: “You’re not obsessive honey, you’re just nuts, and yes, I wonder sometimes if marrying a lunatic like you was a foolish decision”.

Jonathan always loved their dynamic, provoking Anna to bite him a little from time to time was a kind of psychological foreplay. Something that develops almost always in all healthy marriages when two people are stuck with each other for a long time.

He smiled, closed his laptop, looked at Anna, and lifted his index pointing to her: “And that, is exactly why you are the one, no one but you could put up with my idiosyncrasies”.
He got up, with a grin on his pale face, “Let’s go, love, those damned subatomic particles can wait for tomorrow, Unlike you, they have some patience”. Anna immediately replied: “Unlike your invisible time-travelling god particle, I can’t travel back in time, time is my enemy, and right now, we need to sleep”.

In a way, Anna was right to a degree about Jonathan. Because, who on god’s green earth would stay up for hours combing through thousands of pages of highly esoteric physics data from CERN’s Large Hadron Collider, looking for a particle with no mass that can travel backwards in time; unless, of course, they were obsessive and a little nuts at least.

To Jonathan, Anna had always this ability to sense things on a deep level, a kind of 6th sense. She could tell when Jonathan was worried, happy, sad, or distant.

Jonathan asked her: “Did your sixth sense kick in again? Did it wake you up again to tell you I wasn’t in bed?”

“You’re a physicist, I have no sixth sense, idiot, I just want you to rest”

Jonathan replied: “One day I’m gonna prove it, I’m gonna prove you have a sixth sense”
“Yeah, and one day, pigs will fly”.

Jonathan’s grin persisted as the couple went to bed.
“hey TARS, wake me up exactly three hours” He uttered
“Not a wise amount of sleep for a guy who spends all his time thinking” replied TARS, his Interstellar-inspired AI robot.

“You see? Even your stupid robot thinks you need more sleep”

“I’m going to ignore your insults Dr.Bradely, because you scare me” TARS replied

“Everyone seems to be having fun at my expense today, TARS, drop your humour setting to 50% and shut the hell up” Jonathan said

“Done, Humour set a 50%, waking you up at 2 hours, 59 minutes and 40 seconds”

Anna started laughing hysterically, “You should have told him to shut up before telling him to drop his humour setting, I think he’s making fun of you”

“I’m going to turn him into a gaming PC or a toaster tomorrow don’t you worry”

After a couple of seconds of silence, Jonathan said: “He’s not an idiot after all, apparently I scare him more than you do”

[To Be Continued]